Book a Free Call with Lexy - Ferly

You want to want to. You just… don't. And you can't figure out why.

I'm Lexy, resident sexologist at Ferly. I've spent years working with women who are exactly where you are. Loving their partner, but feeling miles from desire. Book a free 20-minute call with me, and I'll tell you what I think is going on.

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This call is for you if...

Sex has become something you do for him, not something you want for yourself. Or something you avoid entirely. Or something you haven't thought about in so long you've stopped counting. You love him. You want to want him. But the wanting just… isn't there.

You want to want it. But most nights it's easier to scroll your phone than to try to get in the mood.

The moment he reaches over, your first feeling is panic. Not desire. Panic. And then guilt for the panic.

You have sex out of obligation. And feel hollow for hours afterwards.

You feel more like flatmates than lovers. And you're too scared to name it out loud.

You worry he'll find someone else. Or that you might. Both thoughts terrify you.

You were so sexual in your twenties. Now it barely crosses your mind. You miss her.

Your libido feels gone. And underneath that is the shame of thinking, shouldn't I still want this?

You don't know how to start the conversation. So you don't. And the distance quietly grows.

It feels like a cycle.
Because it is.

You're not broken and your desire can come back. You're just stuck in a cycle that nobody ever taught you how to break.

I get it, and I know exactly what you're struggling with.

What to expect on the call

A 20-minute call with me.

1 Tell me what's going on

No prep needed. Just talk!

2 I'll tell you what I think is driving it

Honest, informed, no fluff.

3 We'll figure out if I can help

No pressure either way.

Book Your Free Call

On Our Call

I'll help you go from this. To this.

Where you are now

Wanting to want sex, but never quite getting there.
Feeling panic, guilt, or pressure when your partner initiates.
Wondering if you've lost a part of yourself you might never get back.
Feeling more like roommates than lovers.
Missing intimacy, touch, and connection, but not knowing how to fix it.
Quietly questioning how long the relationship can survive like this.

in just 20 min

What you'll leave with

A clear understanding of why your desire changed. Not a mystery any more.
Knowing whether what you're experiencing is something I can help with.
One or two things you can do differently straight away.
A sense of having been heard by someone who genuinely gets it. Without judgment.
Clarity on your next step, whatever that looks like for you.

Book Your Free Call

Who You're Working With

Your call is with me, but my approach is built with these world-leading experts.

My work is grounded in the frameworks from Penguin Life's bestselling book Turn Yourself On by Billie Quinlan, created with two of the world's foremost experts in female desire, Dr Lori Brotto and Kate Moyle, and supported by Ferly, the sexual wellness app used by close to one million women worldwide.

As seen in Evening Standard, Bustle, Forbes, The Times, Elle, The Guardian

Lexy Pluthero

I'm the resident sexologist at Ferly, soon-to-be author, and I've worked with hundreds of women on exactly this.

Kate Moyle

Famed psychosexual therapist, host of Sex on the Couch and Sexual Wellness Sessions, best selling author, The Science of Sex

Billie Quinlan

Best selling author of Turn Yourself On, Founder of leading sex therapy app used by 1m+ women, Ferly

Dr Lori Brotto

Leading academic and scientist on female sexual desire, author of best seller, Better Sex Through Mindfulness

"What is this call actually for?"

"Is this just a sales call?"

It isn't. My goal is to understand what's going on for you and give you something genuinely useful in the time we have. If I think I can help further, I'll tell you. If I don't, I'll tell you that too.

"I'm embarrassed to talk about this out loud."

That's completely normal. Most women have never said these words to anyone. I've heard every version of this story hundreds of times, without judgment. You don't need the right words. You just have to show up.

"I've tried so many things already."

Most of what's out there treats desire like a performance issue. My approach is different. It's grounded in how desire actually works for women in long-term relationships, not how it's been sold to you. That's usually why nothing else has stuck.

"It's been like this for too long now."

Time isn't the problem. The pressure cycle is. And once you understand what's been keeping you stuck, you can break it. The women who've gone the longest are often the ones who feel the shift most.

"I don't have 20 minutes."

You've been carrying this for months, probably years. Twenty minutes to understand it is not a lot to ask. And if now isn't right, we can always find another time.

"My partner won't understand why I'm doing this."

You don't need their permission to work on yourself. The call is yours. What you share, and with whom, is entirely up to you.

In Their Own Words