Sexologist · Speaker · Writer
We are all having the same conversation badly.
I'm Lexy Pluthero. I work with women who have stopped wanting sex and are convinced something is wrong with them (nothing is), and I spend the rest of my time arguing about why so few of us were given anything useful to work with in the first place... most recently in Parliament, as part of the Summer of Sex campaign.
Seen at
- UK Parliament
- Summer of Sex
- Found Women's Health
- Ferly
- [Add 2 more]
What I speak about
Two rooms, one argument.
One is about policy and what we teach people. The other is about what happens in real relationships years later, when nobody taught them anything. I take either, and the best events want both.
The policy room
For conferences, panels, campaigning organisations, media and public affairs audiences.
- What we don't teach, and what it costsThe gaps in UK sex education, and the harm that shows up in adult relationships a decade later. Fully referenced, every statistic sourced.
- CensoredWhat happens to sexual health information when platforms decide the word "sex" is a risk. Written from the inside, as someone whose work gets shadowbanned for saying it.
- The orgasm gap is not a punchlineThe evidence, who it affects, and what changes it. Good for International Women's Day, health equity and research audiences.
The real-life room
For women's health communities, workplace wellbeing programmes, festivals and membership groups.
- I want to want itResponsive desire, and why waiting to feel spontaneously turned on is the reason so many women think they are broken.
- Ban the BedroomSame room, same time, same thing, nobody enjoying it. How ingrained routine kills desire in long relationships, and what to do instead.
- When the brain goes quietADHD, attention and desire. An underserved audience that almost nobody is speaking to properly.
Formats: keynote (20 to 45 mins), panel, fireside and Q&A, half-day workshop, podcast. Delivered in person across the UK, or remotely. [Confirm your real formats and travel radius, and whether you quote a fee here or on enquiry.]
Selected engagements
Where I've said this out loud.
- 2026 UK Parliament, Summer of Sex Spoke on sex education and online censorship as part of the campaign to overhaul how sex education is taught in the UK. Panel
- 2026 Found Women's Health Female desire, reconnecting with desire, and widening the definition of intimacy. Talk plus live Q&A for the Found community. Talk & Q&A
- [Date] [Event or organisation] [One sentence on what you covered and who was in the room. Audience size helps.] [Format]
- [Date] [Podcast or media appearance] [Podcasts and press count here too. Bookers read this list as proof other people trusted you first.] [Format]
Thought leadership
The thinking, in public.
Programmers want to know what you sound like before they put you in front of their audience. This is where you send them.
Substack
Longer essays on desire, sex education and the culture around both. [Paste your Substack URL in the link.]
Read the essaysTurned On
My weekly letter to around 50,000 readers on desire, intimacy and everything nobody taught us.
Subscribe@theferlymethod
Where the daily work happens, and where the censorship argument stops being theoretical.
Follow alongWhat people say afterwards
Reviews.
From the women who were in the room.
“The biggest takeaway for me was that I am so painfully aware of how it impacts my partner, and have totally forgotten myself, and the independent confident sexual being that I used to be.”
“I got straight off the call and had a conversation with my partner about how interesting I found it. It's definitely made me feel less alone. The pressure cycle was something I relate to... just to hear it voiced by someone else is so powerful.”
“[Third slot, saved for an organiser. Sophie at Found, or whoever books you next. One line from the person who hired you is worth three from the audience.]”
About
Who you're actually booking.
I'm a sexologist. Most of my week is spent working one to one with women in long relationships who love their partner and have completely lost interest in sleeping with them, which is far more common than anyone admits at dinner!
The work is evidence-based, built on modern research into female sexuality (I work alongside Dr Lori Brotto's research at Ferly), and it is not therapy, not a wellness retreat, and not a lecture about spicing things up.
I ended up in the policy conversation because the two things turned out to be the same problem. Nobody teaches this properly, platforms won't let us say the words, and then twelve years later a woman sits in front of me convinced she's broken. No sh*t we're all struggling.
[Add a line here on credentials, training or accreditation. Bookers scan for it, and it is the one thing this page cannot invent for you.]
- TitleSexologist
- BasedUK, travels for events
- FormatsKeynote, panel, workshop, podcast
- AudiencesConferences, women's health, workplace wellbeing, festivals
- NewsletterTurned On, ~50k readers
- Speaker pack[Link a PDF: bio, headshot, talk titles, tech rider]
Enquiries
Tell me about your event.
The more you tell me, the faster I can tell you whether I'm right for it. I answer everything, including the ones I say no to.
- Event and date
- Format
- Who's in the room
- Rough numbers
- Budget