How to craft the perfect sext


Ok. So here’s a scenario.

It’s a Tuesday afternoon and you’re texting someone who you are v sexually attracted to. Maybe it’s a partner(s), maybe it’s a recent date, maybe it’s someone you’ve just met and you wanna heat things up. We’ve all been there - folks gotta scratch that itch ya know?

It’s not the time (or the place) to send a nude. You could be in a meeting, pretending to check your Slack on your phone. Either way, you want to get hot and bothered together - but where to start?

Sexting requires precise execution, but not too much thought. Like a fine wine left to rest after it’s been opened, you want the promise of sexual pleasure to linger in the air. But you also, like, want them to reply and keep the conversation going because that’s half the fun.

So here’s a few tips on how to get it going on:

  • Set the mood - you might need to temperature check to see if the recipient is down for some dirty talk at 3pm on a Wednesday afternoon. A cute, almost innocent, “hey, been thinking some kinda hot/NSFW thoughts about you today…” - note the ellipses - dot dot dots are somehow an inherent, digital signifier that says I AM THINKING ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOU.

  • If they reply with “that’s cool but I’m in a meeting right now and my WhatsApp is connected to my laptop and I was doing a presentation and my bosses now know that you’re thinking inappropriate thoughts about me”, I would suggest you abort the mission.

  • BUT, if you get the green light and they respond with an emoji (but not the 🍆 because it’s just kinda tacky) - then you can start to ramp it up. Remember: as the instigator, you set the boundaries here. You create the tone, the setting, the environment and how far you want to go!

  • K. First: set the scene. Where are you? Are you in a meadow, on a beach, in a log cabin, or maybe you’re into forbidden fruit and want to play a game in the office? HOT TOILET SEX.

  • Next, frame what you want to happen and where you want it to lead. Maybe you’re the kinda human who wants to take their time with this. Think of this as the foreplay of sexting - tease them with what you would do to them, or what you want them to do to you. A touch, a kiss, a boob graze, a thigh grab, gently blowing on the back of their necks. Whatever you’re into.

  • If you’re engaging in some heavy reciprocal sexting, be warned that things could go from 0 to 60 in a matter of minutes. Pro tip: place yourself near a bathroom should things get a bit NSFW and you wanna take it a bit further #SexIsNotJustForTheBedroom

  • By now you might be in the swing of things - this is a great opportunity to communicate any fantasies you’ve been holding onto but haven’t been able to approach in person!

  • Another option is to keep things light and easy and let the sexting last until you next see each other. Maybe you say you won’t masturbate until you see each other and get that celibacy thing going on to prolong the tension. Maybe you’re like me and won’t last that long and you’ll just arrange to see them straight after work because the urge is real.

SO there you have it - a not so comprehensive but kind of structured guide to sexting. It takes a few tries before it starts feeling comfortable - it can be kinda awkward to instigate, but it often ends up being a really interesting and sexy way of communicating with the person you’re having (or maybe not having) sex with.

We often get a bit shy IRL, and even though there are things we want to happen during sex, we might not be able to vocalise them! Use sexting as a way of proposing new ways to be intimate - you never know what might come of them 💦